Not Fair

(A Letter to Leonard Cohen)

It's not fair,

Here I am at 40

Lamenting my "youth"

I do not belong in this age,

In this body

I should've known you

When your hair was dark

As a bronzed crow's wing in summer

When your eyes were not

Quite so gentle as they are now

But no, here I am, a 70's child

Dragging her tail behind those in their 60's,

Trying not to offend older people

As I slink into the back row at your concerts,

Hoping to go unnoticed,

Hiding behind a curtain of colorless hair

Somewhere, something went off course,

The seed that was me got turned

And plunged into the wrong egg

(My mother would kill me for saying this)

And this old soul got stuck in a middle-aged shell

I should've been there, at least as your friend

You wouldn't have had me as a lover, I was not beautiful

But in our old age, I bet we'd still be friends

And I'd leave.....as soon as you tired of me.

Now I'm playing catch up,

Buying up every Cohen song I can get my hands on

Family and friends just roll their eyes,

Another obsession, they say

But they haven't looked at you

I hope your long life stretches into Indian summer,

Well past September so we can sip your wine a little while longer

I'll pay to see you every chance I get,

You're worth every penny

And there you go now,

Tipping your hat to us

You and your once dark hair

Silvering into sterling

--Rain (2010)